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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25206010">let me save you, hold this rope</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy'>smallredboy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Addiction Themes, F/F, Hunt Avatar Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Post-Episode: e153 Love Bombing (The Magnus Archives), Withdrawal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:35:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>750</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25206010</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Daisy and Basira talk while Daisy struggles with her urge to give in.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Froday Flash Fiction Little &amp; Monthly Specials 2020, Gen Prompt Bingo Round 18, Hurt/Comfort Bingo - Round 11, femslashficlets: tarot prompt challenge</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>let me save you, hold this rope</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b>fffc's 100th special:</b> ruin<br/><b>h/c bingo:</b> substance addiction<br/><b>gen prompt bingo:</b> episode tags and missing scenes<br/><b>femslashficlets tarot table:</b> temperance</p>
<p>in my head, basira is Black and arab and is muslim; daisy is white as hell and also not butch.</p>
<p>enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Daisy's whole body <em>aches</em> for it.</p>
<p>She had been miserable while inside the Buried, without the opportunity to go and Hunt, but that was because she was inside the Buried. She had more things to worry about. But now it's just her, in the regular world (well, as regular as it can be), struggling against the well-known urge to attack someone, to chase them for eternity.</p>
<p>She may die if she doesn't. She doesn't want to hurt people anymore. But it's all she knows— from her youth to her police years to being the Institute's personal attack dog, she has been marked by the Hunt. Addicted to it, that high of the chase. She still doesn't know why; she's still not sure what marked her as part of it. Was it since the very day she was born? Or was it some incident when she was very young that she can't recall?</p>
<p>"Daisy," Basira says, settled in her room, looking at her as she twitches in her bed. "You <em>need</em> to do this."</p>
<p>"No," she chokes out in response. "No. I can't. I won't. I need — I need to not do this to anyone else."</p>
<p>"You're going to <em>die</em> if you don't," she says. Her voice is strained with tears, and she leans in to take her hand on her own, squeezes. Basira's hand is so very warm against her own freezing one. "I don't want you to die, Daisy."</p>
<p>"If I die, I die. I can't keep <em>doing</em> this. Saving Jon from… from those people hurt."</p>
<p>"But it felt good, didn't it?"</p>
<p>"It was just… it was just a second," she says. "I didn't get the — the thrill of the Hunt. Just that, that one moment right before it. I felt myself grow… grow ready to Hunt, to attack, to maul. But then they left and I just… I collapsed."</p>
<p>"You should look for them." Basira clears her throat, tucks a stray hair of Daisy's behind her ear. Her long hair frames her face messily."I really don't want you to die, beloved."</p>
<p>"I want to stop hurting people…"</p>
<p>"You can do it in moderation," she tries. "You can just hurt people when you're… when you're like this. When you're on the brink of <em>dying</em> because you haven't. And you know they'd deserve it, those two."</p>
<p>"They were mad that Jon set Gerry free," she mumbles, straightens up. She squeezes her eyes shut. "They were going to kill him over that. Maybe they… maybe I have to."</p>
<p>"Maybe you do have to," she agrees.</p>
<p>Maybe, in another instance, Daisy would reconsider this. She'd think it over and find it weird how much Basira wants her to go out and Hunt, but she knows she doesn't <em>want</em> her to. She only wants to do whatever it takes for her to keep living, which happens to be Hunting.</p>
<p>"I love you, y'know," Daisy says softly. The words feel like poison in her mouth, like she's not supposed to say them, ever. The path of a Hunter is a lonely one.</p>
<p>She leans in and kisses her forehead. "I love you too, Daisy. I wish you didn't have to do this, but it's what you have to do. And I can't stand to see you here… suffering and twitching and crying. It's miserable. I hope you understand that."</p>
<p>"I do." She swallows. "I just wish I didn't… I just wish I didn't have to keep doing this, to keep living. It hurts a lot."</p>
<p>"I know."</p>
<p>"It's ruining me."</p>
<p>"I know, I know." She kisses her on the lips, and it's like she's revitalized, even for that one second. It's holy, almost; it overwhelms her. She clings onto Basira, digs her nails into her shirt. Her hair (which she usually doesn't get the chance to see, covered by her hijab), is beautiful. She touches it, gently, takes in the texture.</p>
<p>"I love you," Daisy says again. "I love you. I love you. I love you."</p>
<p>"Shh." Basira coos at her, gently, shushes her as she holds her. Hiccups leave her mouth haphazardly, throws out all her penances into her beloved's back. It hurts to not hurt other people. It's a strange thought to have. "I love you too. You need to rest."</p>
<p>"Yeah," she croaks out. "I do. I'll… I'll do something tomorrow. Maybe. I don't know. I feel so weak."</p>
<p><em>It's ruining me</em>, she thinks, over and over, like a prayer.</p>
<p>She needs to stop it. To take it in moderation.</p>
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